11.十六年前的回忆（3046）

十六年前的回忆

1. 1927年4月28日，我永远忘不了那一天。

2. 那是父亲的被难日，离现在已经十六年了。

3. 那年春天，父亲每天夜里回来得很晚。

4. 每天早晨，不知道什么时候他又出去了。

5. 有时候他留在家里，埋头整理书籍和文件。

6. 我蹲在旁边，看他把书和有字的纸片投到火炉里去。

7. 我奇怪地问他∶“爹，为什么要烧掉呢？

8. 怪可惜的。”

9. 待了一会儿，父亲才回答∶“不要了就烧掉。

10. 你小孩子家知道什么！”

11. 父亲一向是慈祥的，从来没骂过我们，更没打过我们。

12. 我总爱向父亲问许多幼稚可笑的问题。

13. 他不论多忙，对我的问题总是很感兴趣，总是耐心地讲给我听。

14. 这一次不知道为什么，父亲竟这样含糊地回答我。

15. 后来母亲说，军阀张作霖要派人来检查。

16. 为了避免党组织被破坏，父亲只好把一些书籍和文件烧掉。

17. 才过了两天，果然出事了。

18. 工友阎振三一早上街买东西，直到夜里还不见回来。

19. 第二天，父亲才知道他被抓到警察厅里去了。

20. 我们心里都很不安，为这位工友着急。

21. 局势越来越严峻，父亲的工作也越来越紧张。

22. 他的朋友劝他离开北京，母亲也几次劝他。

23. 父亲坚决地对母亲说∶“不是常对你说吗？

24. 我是不能轻易离开北京的。

25. 你要知道现在是什么时候，这里的工作多么重要。

26. “我哪能离开呢？”母亲只好不再说什么了。

27. 可怕的一天果然来了。

28. 4月6日的早晨，妹妹换上了新夹衣，母亲带她到儿童娱乐场去散步了。

29. 父亲在里间屋里写字，我坐在外间的长木椅上看报。

30. 短短的一段新闻还没看完，就听见啪，啪……几声尖锐的枪声，接着是一阵纷乱的喊叫。

31. “什么？爹！”我瞪着眼睛问父亲。

32. “没有什么，不要怕。

33. 星儿，跟我到外面看看去。”

34. 父亲不慌不忙地从抽屉里取出一把闪亮的小手枪，就向外走。

35. 我紧跟在他身后，走出院子，暂时躲在一间僻静的小屋里。

36. 一会儿，外面传来一阵沉重的皮鞋声。

37. 我的心剧烈地跳动起来，用恐怖的眼光瞅了瞅父亲。

38. “不要放走一个！”窗外传来粗暴的吼声。

39. 穿灰制服和长筒皮靴的宪兵，穿便衣的侦探，穿黑制服的警察，一拥而入，挤满了这间小屋子。

40. 他们像一群魔鬼似的，把我们包围起来。

41. 他们每人拿着一把手枪，枪口对着父亲和我。

42. 在军警中间，我发现了前几天被捕的工友阎振三。

43. 他的胳膊上拴着绳子，被一个肥胖的便衣侦探拉着。

44. 那个满脸横肉的便衣侦探指着父亲问阎振三∶“你认识他吗？”

45. 阎振三摇了摇头。

46. 他那披散的长头发中间露出一张苍白的脸，显然是受过苦刑了。

47. “哼！你不认识？我可认识他。”

48. 侦探冷笑着，又吩咐他手下的那一伙，“看好，别让他自杀！”

49. 他们仔细地把父亲全身搜了一遍。

50. 父亲保持着他那惯有的严峻态度，没有向他们讲任何道理。

51. 因为他明白，对他们是没有道理可讲的。

52. 残暴的匪徒把父亲绑起来，拖走了。

53. 我也被他们带走了。

54. 在高高的砖墙围起来的警察厅的院子里，我看见母亲和妹妹也都被带来了。

55. 我们被关在女拘留所里。

56. 十几天过去了，我们始终没看见父亲。

57. 有一天，我们正在吃中饭，手里的窝窝头还没啃完，听见警察喊我们母女的名字，说是提审。

58. 在法庭上，我们跟父亲见了面。

59. 父亲仍旧穿着他那件灰布旧棉袍，可是没戴眼镜。

60. 我看到了他那乱蓬蓬的长头发下面的平静而慈祥的脸。

61. “爹！”我忍不住喊出声来。

62. 母亲哭了，妹妹也跟着哭起来了。

63. “不许乱喊！”法官拿起惊堂木重重地在桌子上拍了一下。

64. 父亲瞅了瞅我们，没对我们说一句话。

65. 他脸上的表情非常安定，非常沉着。

66. 他的心被一种伟大的力量占据着。

67. 这个力量就是他平日对我们讲的——他对于革命事业的信心。

68. “这是我的妻子。”

69. 他指着母亲说。

70. 接着他又指了一下我和妹妹，“这是我的两个女孩子。”

71. “她是你最大的孩子吗？”

72. 法官指着我问父亲。

73. “是的，我是最大的。”

74. 我怕父亲说出哥哥来，就这样抢着说了。

75. 我不知道当时哪里来的机智和勇敢。

76. “不要多嘴！”法官怒气冲冲的，又拿起他面前那块木板狠狠地拍了几下。

77. 父亲立刻就会意了，接着说∶“她是我最大的孩子。

78. 我的妻子是个乡下人。

79. 我的孩子年纪都还小，她们什么也不懂。

80. 一切都跟她们没有关系。”

81. 父亲说完了这段话，又望了望我们。

82. 法官命令把我们押下去。

83. 我们就这样跟父亲见了一面，匆匆分别了。

84. 想不到这竟是我们最后的一次见面。

85. 28日黄昏，警察叫我们收拾行李出拘留所。

86. 我们回到家里，天已经全黑了。

87. 第二天，舅姥爷到街上去买报。

88. 他是从街上哭着回来的，手里无力地握着一份报。

89. 我看到报上用头号字登着“李大钊等昨已执行绞刑”，立刻感到眼前蒙了一团云雾，昏倒在床上了。

90. 母亲伤心过度，昏过去三次，每次都是刚刚叫醒又昏过去了。

91. 过了好半天，母亲醒过来了，她低声问我∶“昨天是几号？

92. 记住，昨天是你爹被害的日子。”

93. 我又哭了，从地上捡起那张报纸，咬紧牙，又勉强看了一遍。

94. 低声对母亲说∶“妈，昨天是4月28日。”

Memories from Sixteen Years Ago

1. April 28, 1927, I will never forget that day.  

2. That was the day my father was taken, and it's been sixteen years since then.  

3. That spring, my father came home very late every night.  

4. Every morning, I didn't know when he left again.  

5. Sometimes he stayed home, burying himself in organizing books and documents.  

6. I squatted nearby, watching him throw books and paper scraps with writing into the stove.  

7. I asked him curiously, "Dad, why are you burning these?  

8. It's such a pity."  

9. After a while, my father replied, "Burn them if they're no longer needed.  

10. You kids don't understand anything!"  

11. My father was always kind, never scolding or hitting us.  

12. I always loved to ask him many childish and silly questions.  

13. No matter how busy he was, he was always interested in my questions and patiently explained them to me.  

14. This time, I didn't know why, but he answered me so vaguely.  

15. Later, my mother said that the warlord Zhang Zuolin was sending people to inspect.  

16. To avoid the party organization being destroyed, my father had to burn some books and documents.  

17. Just two days later, something happened.  

18. Our worker Yan Zhensan went out early in the morning to buy things, but didn't return until night.  

19. The next day, my father found out he was taken to the police station.  

20. We were all uneasy, worried about this worker.  

21. The situation became more and more severe, and my father's work more and more tense.  

22. His friends advised him to leave Beijing, and my mother also persuaded him several times.  

23. My father firmly told my mother, "Haven't I often told you?  

24. I can't leave Beijing so easily.  

25. You need to understand what time it is now, how important the work here is.  

26. How can I leave?" My mother had no choice but to say no more.  

27. The dreadful day finally came.  

28. On the morning of April 6, my sister put on her new jacket, and my mother took her to the children's playground for a walk.  

29. My father was writing in the inner room, and I was reading the newspaper on the long wooden bench in the outer room.  

30. Before finishing a short news piece, I heard sharp gunshots and then a burst of chaotic shouting.  

31. "What? Dad!" I asked my father, eyes wide open.  

32. "It's nothing, don't be afraid.  

33. Xing'er, come with me to have a look outside."  

34. My father calmly took a shining small pistol from the drawer and walked out.  

35. I followed closely behind him, we went out of the yard, and hid temporarily in a secluded small room.  

36. After a while, heavy footsteps came from outside.  

37. My heart pounded wildly, and I looked at my father with fearful eyes.  

38. "Don't let anyone escape!" A rough voice shouted from outside the window.  

39. Gendarmes in gray uniforms and long boots, plainclothes detectives, and policemen in black uniforms rushed in, filling the small room.  

40. They surrounded us like a group of demons.  

41. Each of them held a pistol, pointing the barrels at my father and me.  

42. Among the military and police, I saw the worker Yan Zhensan who was arrested a few days ago.  

43. His arm was tied with a rope, being held by a fat plainclothes detective.  

44. The detective with a face full of flesh pointed at my father and asked Yan Zhensan, "Do you know him?"  

45. Yan Zhensan shook his head.  

46. His disheveled hair revealed a pale face, clearly tortured.  

47. "Hmph! You don't know him? I know him."  

48. The detective sneered and ordered his men, "Watch him, don't let him commit suicide!"  

49. They carefully searched my father all over.  

50. My father maintained his usual stern attitude, not saying a word to them.  

51. Because he knew, there was no reasoning with them.  

52. The brutal thugs tied up my father and dragged him away.  

53. They took me too.  

54. In the yard of the police station surrounded by high brick walls, I saw my mother and sister also brought in.  

55. We were detained in the women's detention center.  

56. More than ten days passed, and we never saw my father.  

57. One day, while we were having lunch, not finishing the steamed bread in our hands, the police called our names, saying it was for interrogation.  

58. In the courtroom, we met our father.  

59. He still wore his old gray cotton robe, but without glasses.  

60. I saw his calm and kind face under the messy long hair.  

61. "Dad!" I couldn't help shouting.  

62. My mother cried, and my sister followed suit.  

63. "No shouting!" The judge banged the gavel heavily on the table.  

64. My father looked at us without saying a word.  

65. His expression was very calm and composed.  

66. His heart was filled with a great power.  

67. This power was the confidence in the revolutionary cause he always talked about.  

68. "This is my wife."  

69. He pointed at my mother.  

70. Then he pointed at me and my sister, "These are my two daughters."  

71. "Is she your eldest child?"  

72. The judge pointed at me and asked my father.  

73. "Yes, I am the eldest."  

74. I was afraid my father would mention my brother, so I quickly said this.  

75. I didn't know where the wit and courage came from at that moment.  

76. "Don't talk too much!" The judge angrily banged the wooden board in front of him a few more times.  

77. My father understood immediately and continued, "She is my eldest child.  

78. My wife is a countrywoman.  

79. My children are still young, they don't understand anything.  

80. Everything has nothing to do with them."  

81. After saying this, my father looked at us again.  

82. The judge ordered us to be taken away.  

83. We met our father briefly and parted in a hurry.  

84. Unexpectedly, this was our last meeting.  

85. At dusk on the 28th, the police told us to pack our bags and leave the detention center.  

86. When we got home, it was already completely dark.  

87. The next day, my great-uncle went to the street to buy a newspaper.  

88. He came back crying, holding a newspaper weakly.  

89. I saw on the newspaper, with large headlines, "Li Dazhao and others executed by hanging yesterday," and immediately felt a cloud covering my eyes, fainting on the bed.  

90. My mother was so heartbroken, she fainted three times, each time waking up and fainting again.  

91. After a long while, my mother woke up and asked me in a low voice, "What day was yesterday?  

92. Remember, yesterday was the day your father was killed."  

93. I cried again, picked up the newspaper from the ground, gritted my teeth, and read it again with difficulty.  

94. I said to my mother in a low voice, "Mom, yesterday was April 28."