当下的力量 8

PAST PAIN: DISSOLVING THE PAIN-BODY

As long as you are unable to access the power of the Now, every emotional pain that you experience leaves behind a residue of pain that lives on in you. It merges with the pain from the past, which was already there, and becomes lodged in your mind and body. This, of course, includes the pain you suffered as a child, caused by the unconsciousness of the world into which you were born.

This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind. If you look on it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth. It’s the emotional pain-body. It has two modes of being: dormant and active. A pain-body may be dormant 90 percent of the time; in a deeply unhappy person, though, it may be active up to mo percent of the time. Some people live almost entirely through their pain-body, while others may experience it only in certain situations, such as intimate relationships, or situations linked with past loss or abandonment, physical or emotional hurt, and so on. Anything can trigger it, particularly if it resonates with a pain pattern from your past. When it is ready to awaken from its dormant stage, even a thought or an innocent remark made by someone close to you can activate it.

Some pain-bodies are obnoxious but relatively harmless, for example like a child who won't stop whining. Others are vicious and destructive monsters, true demons. Some are physically violent; many more are emotionally violent. Some will attack people around you or close to you, while others may attack you, their host. Thoughts and feelings you have about your life then become deeply negative and self-destructive. Illnesses and accidents are often created in this way. Some pain-bodies drive their hosts to suicide.

When you thought you knew a person and then you are suddenly confronted with this alien, nasty creature for the first time, you are in for quite a shock. However, it's more important to observe it in yourself than in someone else. Watch out for any sign of unhappiness in yourself, in whatever form — it may be the awakening pain-body. This can take the form of irritation, impatience, a somber mood, a desire to hurt, anger, rage, depression, a need to have some drama in your relationship, and so on. Catch it the moment it awakens from its dormant state.

The pain-body wants to survive, just like every other entity in existence, and it can only survive if it gets you to unconsciously identify with it. It can then rise up, take you over, "become you," and live through you. It needs to get its "food" through you. It will feed on any experience that resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness. So the pain-body, when it has taken you over, will create a situation in your life that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.

Once the pain-body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain, or you want to suffer pain, or both. There isn't really much difference between the two. You are not conscious of this, of course, and will vehemently claim that you do not want pain. But look closely and you will find that your thinking and behavior are designed to keep the pain going, for yourself and others. If you were truly conscious of it, the pattern would dissolve, for to want more pain is insanity, and nobody is consciously insane.

The pain-body, which is the dark shadow cast by the ego, is actually afraid of the light of your consciousness. It is afraid of being found out. Its survival depends on your unconscious identification with it, as well as on your unconscious fear of facing the pain that lives in you. But if you don't face it, if you don't bring the light of your consciousness into the pain, you will be forced to relive it again and again. The pain-body may seem to you like a dangerous monster that you cannot bear to look at, but I assure you that it is an insubstantial phantom that cannot prevail against the power of your presence.

Some spiritual teachings state that all pain is ultimately an illusion, and this is true. The question is: Is it true for you? A mere belief doesn't make it true. Do you want to experience pain for the rest of your life and keep saying that it is an illusion? Does that free you from the pain? What we are concerned with here is how you can realize this truth — that is, make it real in your own experience.

So the pain-body doesn't want you to observe it directly and see it for what it is. The moment you observe it, feel its energy field within you, and take your attention into it, the identification is broken. A higher dimension of consciousness has come in. I call it presence. You are now the witness or the watcher of the pain-body. This means that it cannot use you anymore by pretending to be you, and it can no longer replenish itself through you. You have found your own innermost strength. You have accessed the power of Now.

瓦解你的痛苦之身

当痛苦之身即将从休眠状态中被激活时，即使是一个念头或与你关系密切的人的一句不经意的话，都有可能激活它。

除非你能拥有当下的力量，否则你所体会到的每一个情绪痛苦都会残留一部分，继续在你体内存活。它会与你过去已经存在的痛苦合并，并在你的大脑和身体内扎根。当然，过去的痛苦也包括你孩提时遭受的痛苦，这是因为这个世界的无意识造成的。

这种积累起来的痛苦是一个消极的能量场，占据着你的大脑和身体。如果你将它视为存在于你体内的无形的实体，那你就离真理不远了。它就是你情绪的痛苦之身。痛苦之身有两种存在模式：休眠和活跃。在90%的时间内，它可能在你的体内都是处于休眠状态；但是，对一个极端不快乐的人来说，他的痛苦之身可能会100%地处于活跃状态。有些人可能完全生活在痛苦之身的状态下，而有些人则可能偶尔感受到它，比如失恋或与过去的痛苦、失落、身体或情感上的伤害等相关联的情况。任何事情都有可能引发痛苦之身，尤其是当它与你过去的痛苦产生共鸣时。当痛苦之身即将从休眠状态中被激活时，即使是一个念头或与你关系亲密的人的一句不经意的话，都有可能激活它。

有些痛苦之身像个吵闹不休的孩子，虽然令人不愉快，但是它的害处相对较小；而有些痛苦之身则非常邪恶，像具有毁灭性的怪兽，或是像恶魔一般。有些会引起身体上的不适，更多的则是引起情感上的不安。有些会攻击你周围与你亲密的人，而有些则会攻击你自己。然后，你有关生活的想法和感情会变得消极并具有自我毁灭性。疾病和意外往往就是这样产生的，有些痛苦之身甚至会驱使遭受它折磨的人去自杀。

你本以为你了解某人，但某天你突然碰到的他却变成了一个陌生的、狰狞的野兽，这会让你感到非常吃惊。然而，这时关注自己的内在比关注对方来得更重要。观察你内心任何痛苦的迹象，它的表现形式可能是：愤怒、烦躁、忧郁、伤害他人的欲望、生气、沮丧、想在个人关系中制造冲突的冲动等。在它刚从休眠状态被激活的那一刻，你就应该注意到它。

痛苦之身要在你的体内生存，就像其他任何一个实体一样，如果你无意识地被它控制，它就能存活下来。然后，它会控制你，变成你，并经由你而活出它自己。它需要从你的体内获取“食物”。它以任何与它能量共振的经历或各种形式创造的痛苦为“食”，这些形式有愤怒、沮丧、恨、哀怨、感情冲突、暴力，甚至是疾病。当它控制你时，它会在你的生活中创造一种经常能激活它能量的情况，以便它继续生存。痛苦只能以痛苦为食，它不能享用欢乐。欢乐对它而言是难以下咽的。

痛苦之身害怕被你发现。它的生存取决于你对它无意识的认同，以及你面对内在痛苦时，那种无意识的害怕。

一旦你被痛苦所控制，你会想要更多的痛苦。这时你会成为受害者或者迫害者：你要么为别人制造更多的痛苦，要么受痛苦的折磨，或者两者皆是。实际上，这两者没什么太大的区别。当然，你不会意识到这点，你可能还会说你不要遭受痛苦。但是，如果你仔细观察的话，你会发现自己的思想和行为都在不断地使自己和别人更加痛苦。如果你真正意识到了这一点，这种思维和行为模式就可能会消失。

痛苦之身其实是小我投射出来的阴影，它很害怕你的意识之光。因为一个正常的人是不想受更多的苦的，除非他病了。痛苦之身害怕被你发现。它的生存取决于你对它无意识的认同，以及你面对内在痛苦时，那种无意识的害怕。但是，如果你不面对痛苦，不努力把意识之光带进痛苦中，你将会被迫一次又一次地激活你的痛苦之身。痛苦之身对于你来说就像一个危险的怪物，你甚至不敢直视它。但是我可以肯定地说，它只是一个幻觉，它在你临在的力量下没法存活。

很多心灵导师说，所有的痛苦实际上都是一种幻觉，这是真的。问题是：对你来说，这是真的吗？你单凭这样的信念并不会让你从痛苦中解脱。你愿意在你的余生都遭受这种痛苦，然后还坚持说它只是一个幻觉吗？那样你就可以远离痛苦吗？在这里我们所关注的是，你要如何实践这个真理——也就是说，如何让痛苦从你自己的生活中消失。

所以，痛苦之身不希望你直接去观察它并认清它。当你观察它，感觉到它在你体内的能量场并关注它时，那种无意识的认同就已经被打破了。这时，一种更高的意识状态产生了，我称它为“临在”（presence）。现在你是这个痛苦之身的见证人或观察者。也就是说，它不会再控制你、假装是你，或在你的体内获取新生的能量了。你已经发现了你自己内在的强大力量，你已经获取了当下的力量。