当下的力量 9

What happens to the pain-body when we become conscious enough to break our identification with it?

Unconsciousness creates it; consciousness transmutes it into itself. St. Paul expressed this universal principle beautifully:. "Everything is shown up by being exposed to the light, and whatever is exposed to the light itself becomes light." Just as you cannot fight the darkness, you cannot fight the pain-body. Trying to do so would create inner conflict and thus further pain. Watching it is enough. Watching it implies accepting it as part of what is at that moment.

The pain-body consists of trapped life-energy that has split off from your total energy field and has temporarily become autonomous through the unnatural process of mind identification. It has turned in on itself and become anti-life, like an animal trying to devour its own tail. Why do you think our civilization has become so life-destructive? But even the life-destructive forces are still life-energy.

When you start to disidentify and become the watcher, the pain-body will continue to operate for a while and will try to trick you into identifying with it again. Although you are no longer energizing it through your identification, it has a certain momentum, just like a spinning wheel that will keep turning for a while even when it is no longer being propelled. At this stage, it may also create physical aches and pains in different parts of the body, but they won’t last. Stay present, stay conscious. Be the ever-alert guardian of your inner space. You need to be present enough to be able to watch the pain-body directly and feel its energy. It then cannot control your thinking. The moment your thinking is aligned with the energy field of the pain-body, you are identified with it and again feeding it with your thoughts.

For example, if anger is the predominant energy vibration of the pain-body and you think angry thoughts, dwelling on what someone did to you or what you are going to do to him or her, then you have become unconscious, and the pain-body has become "you." Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. Or when a dark mood comes upon you and you start getting into a negative mind-pattern and thinking how dreadful your life is, your thinking has become aligned with the pain-body, and you have become unconscious and vulnerable to the pain-body's attack. "Unconscious," the way that I use the word here, means to be identified with some mental or emotional pattern. It implies a complete absence of the watcher.

Sustained conscious attention severs the link between the pain-body and your thought processes and brings about the process of transmutation. It is as if the pain becomes fuel for the flame of your consciousness, which then burns more brightly as a result. This is the esoteric meaning of the ancient art of alchemy:, the transmutation of base metal into gold, of suffering into consciousness. The split within is healed, and you become whole again. Your responsibility then is not to create further pain.

Let me summarize the process. Focus attention on the feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don't think about it — don't let the feeling turn into thinking. Don't judge or analyze. Don't make an identity for yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you. Become aware not only of the emotional pain but also of "the one who observes," the silent watcher. This is the power of the Now, the power of your own conscious presence. Then see what happens. 

§

For many women, the pain-body awakens particularly at the time preceding the menstrual flow. I will talk about this and the reason for it in more detail later. Right now, let me just say this: If you are able to stay alert and present at that time and watch whatever you feel within, rather than be taken over by it, it affords an opportunity for the most powerful spiritual practice, and a rapid transmutation of all past pain becomes possible.

EGO IDENTIFICATION WITH THE PAIN-BODY

The process that I have just described is profoundly powerful yet simple. It could be taught to a child, and hopefully one day it will be one of the first things children learn in school. Once you have understood the basic principle of being present as the watcher of what happens inside you — and you "understand" it by experiencing it — you have at your disposal the most potent transformational tool.

This is not to deny that you may encounter intense inner resistance to disidentifying from your pain. This will be the case particularly if you have lived closely identified with your emotional pain-body for most of your life and the whole or a large part of your sense of self is invested in it. What this means is that you have made an unhappy self out of your pain-body and believe that this mind-made fiction is who you are. In that case, unconscious fear of losing your identity will create strong resistance to any disidentification. In other words, you would rather be in pain — be the pain-body — than take a leap into the unknown and risk losing the familiar unhappy self.

If this applies to you, observe the resistance within yourself. Observe the attachment to your pain. Be very alert. Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it. The resistance will cease if you make it conscious. You can then take your attention into the pain-body, stay present as the witness, and so initiate its transmutation.

Only you can do this. Nobody can do it for you. But if you are fortunate enough to find someone who is intensely conscious, if you can be with them and join them in the state of presence, that can be helpful and will accelerate things. In this way, your own light will quickly grow stronger. When a log that has only just started to burn is placed next to one that is burning fiercely, and after a while they are separated again, the first log will be burning with much greater intensity. After all, it is the same fire. To be such a fire is one of the functions of a spiritual teacher. Some therapists may also be able to fulfill that function, provided that they have gone beyond the level of mind and can create and sustain a state of intense conscious presence while they are working with you.

当我们有足够的意识来突破对痛苦之身的认同时，它将会变成什么样子呢？

无意识创造了它，意识将它变回原形。圣保罗优美地说出了宇宙的原理：“万物在光明下无所遁形，同时万物在光的照耀下都会转化成光。”就像你不能向黑暗宣战一样，你不能向痛苦之身宣战，这样做只会引发内心的冲突并创造更深的痛苦。所以观察它就足够了。观察它意味着接纳它成为当下时刻事实的一部分。

痛苦之身由受困的生命能量构成，这种能量是从你总的生命能量中分离出来的，它通过思维认同的反自然过程暂时地取得自治权。它变得反对生命，就像动物试图去追自己的尾巴一样。你知道我们的文明为什么已经变成了一种自残的文明吗？但是即使自残的力量也仍然是生命的能量。

请保持临在状态，对痛苦保持关注，守卫你的内在空间。你需要充分地保持注意力，才能直接地观察痛苦之身并感受它的力量。这样，它就无法再控制你的思维了。

当你开始不再认同痛苦之身，而成为观察者时，痛苦之身还会继续挣扎一段时间，同时还会试图让你再度认同它。虽然你不再通过认同它而给它能量，但是它还是会保持一定的动能，就像转动的轮子一样，即使你不再推它，它也会因为惯性继续转动一会儿。在这个阶段，它可能还会在你身体的不同部位制造一些疼痛或不适，但是这些痛苦不会持续很久。请保持临在状态，对痛苦保持关注，守卫你的内在空间。你需要充分地保持注意力，才能直接地观察痛苦之身并感受它的力量。这样，它就无法再控制你的思维了。当你的思维被痛苦所控制时，你就会再次与它认同，而痛苦之身就会再次通过你的思维获得生存。

比如说，如果愤怒一直左右着你的思维，你不停地在想别人对你做的事，或你将要对别人做的事，这时你就无意识地被痛苦所控制了，痛苦之身又成了“你”。在有愤怒的地方，通常就有痛苦埋伏在其下。或者，当你心情不好时，你开始有了很多消极的思想，并不断地想你的生活是多么糟糕，这时你的想法就和痛苦之身结合，你就会无意识地被痛苦所控制，也很容易遭受痛苦之身的攻击。此处我所说的“无意识”，是指对某个思想或情绪模式的认同，它隐含的意思是：观察者的完全缺席。

持久而有意识的关注切断了痛苦之身和思维之间的桥梁，它会带来转化。也就是说，痛苦成为你意识火焰的燃料，结果是意识之火燃烧得更加猛烈。这就是古代炼金术的深奥意义：将金属变成金子，将痛苦转化成意识。内部的分裂被治愈，你又成为圆满的。这样，你接下来要做的就是不再创造更多的痛苦。

我来总结一下这个过程：将注意力集中在你内心的感受上，了解到这就是痛苦之身并接受它的存在；别去想它，别让你的感受变成大脑和思维，不要去判断或分析它，别在其中寻找你自己的身份认同；保持临在，继续观察你的内在；不仅要觉知到你情绪上的痛苦，更要觉察那个沉默的观察者。这就是当下的力量，这就是你自己有意识的那种临在的力量。然后，请看看接下来会发生什么事情。

***

对许多女性来说，在经期前她们的痛苦之身最容易被惊醒。在后面的章节里我将会对此做详细的讨论。现在，我要说的是：如果你在那时能保持警惕和临在，并能观察你的内心感受而不是被它所控制，你就有可能迅速转化你过去所有的痛苦。

你可能宁愿在痛苦中，与痛苦之身认同，也不愿冒风险去丢失你熟悉的不幸自我而跃入一个未知之中。

小我对痛苦之身的认同

我刚刚描述的这个过程非常有力，也非常简单。孩子也可以学习这个过程，希望有一天这将成为孩子在学校里所学到的第一件事。一旦你理解了这个原则或可以对比一下你内心所发生的事情，成为一个临在的观察者，并且实际地去验证它，你将会拥有最强有力的摆脱痛苦的转化工具。

我们并不否认，当你不再认同你的痛苦之身时，你会遭受强烈的内在抗拒，特别是如果你大半生都强烈地与你的痛苦之身认同，并且从中汲取自我感的话，就更是如此。也就是说你从你的痛苦中创造了一个不幸的自我，并且认为这个由大脑创造的幻觉就是你。在这种情况下，害怕失去自我认同的无意识恐惧，会强烈地抗拒任何摆脱这个思维认同的努力。换句话说，你可能宁愿在痛苦中，与痛苦之身认同，也不愿冒风险去丢失你熟悉的不幸自我而跃入一个未知之中。

如果你所遇到的就是这种情况，请观察你内心的这种抗拒，并观察你对痛苦的执着。一定要非常警觉。请观察你从痛苦中获取的兴奋快感，观察你想谈论它或是琢磨它的冲动。如果你对此有觉知的话，这种抗拒将会停止。这时，你可以关注一下痛苦之身，作为一个临在的见证者，并致力于它的转化。

只有你自己可以做这种事情，没有人可以替代你。如果你足够幸运能与意识很强的人在一起，并与他们一起感受临在的状态，这将会对你很有帮助。在这种方式下，你自己的意识之光会增强。如果我们把一块刚刚燃烧的木材放在另一块熊熊燃烧的木材旁边时，过一会儿即使它们分开，第一块木材也会燃烧得更猛烈。毕竟，火是相同的。心灵导师就充当了这种火的功用。有些超越了大脑层次而能创造并维持一种强烈意识临在的治疗师，也可以起到这样的作用。