3.Making The Grade(718)

Sixth grade rewrite

Making The Grade

【1】Once upon a time, in 1951, there was an 18-year-old girl who traveled from Los Angeles to Berkeley with only fifty dollars in her pocket. She was on her way to attend university, a dream she had worked hard to make come true. She had already paid for her first semester's tuition and a month's stay at the co-op residence. After that, she had to manage on her own, as her parents couldn't help her financially.

【2】Since she was 15, she had been working as a live-in mother's helper, taking care of children from noon until midnight. Even though she longed to join extracurricular activities, her job made it impossible. But now, at Berkeley, she hoped to earn a scholarship.

【3】In her first week at university, she found a job as a waitress, babysat, and washed dishes to pay for her rent. By the end of the semester, she had earned the B average she needed for a scholarship. She was determined to keep this average next term.

【4】She chose to take challenging courses, believing she could excel academically. One of these courses was a survey of world literature, taught by Professor Sears Jayne. He used a microphone to lecture in a large auditorium, and instead of textbooks, students used paperbacks, which were more budget-friendly.

【5】The girl was fascinated by the concepts Professor Jayne presented. She formed a study group with her co-op friends who were also taking the course, and she led the group.

【6】When she received her first exam grade, she was shocked to see a 77, a C-plus. She was sure she had done well, especially since she was good at English. To her surprise, her study mates had received Bs, and they thanked her for her help.

【7】She went to talk to Professor Jayne about her grade, but he remained firm. She had never questioned a teacher about a grade before, but she was determined to get the grade she believed she deserved.

【8】She worked even harder, reading the paperbacks more carefully, but her efforts yielded another 77. She returned to Dr. Jayne, but he wouldn't change her grade.

【9】Before the final exam, she had one more chance to prove herself. She borrowed a library copy of T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land" and copied all 420 pages by hand because she couldn't afford to buy it. She studied diligently, but her efforts didn't change her grade.

【10】Feeling defeated, she skipped studying for the final exam, feeling she knew the material well enough. Instead of studying, she treated herself to a movie the night before the exam.

【11】During the final, she had fun with the test, imagining all the writers on an island and writing a debate between them. She wrote effortlessly, enjoying the challenge.

【12】A week later, she found out she had received an A on the final exam. She went to Dr. Jayne's office, confused and a bit angry. Dr. Jayne explained that he wanted her to work hard, so he didn't give her the As she deserved before.

【13】Dr. Jayne gave her a hardback copy of "The Waste Land" as a gift. She was speechless. When her course grade arrived, it was an A-plus, the only one given that year.

【14】The next year, with her scholarship, she co-wrote, acted, sang, and danced in an original musical comedy. She reviewed theater for the student newspaper, wrote a one-act play, and acted in plays produced by the drama department.

【15】She discovered her creative spark, which had been hidden under her work and responsibilities. She learned that she had untapped powers within her and that she must use them, even if she could get by without trying. She set her own standard of excellence, thanks to Dr. Jayne's lesson.

【16】And so, the girl's journey from a hardworking student to a scholar and artist was filled with challenges, but also with the joy of learning and creating. She never forgot the lessons she learned and the fun she had along the way.

六年级改写

提高成绩

【1】从前，在1951年，有一个18岁的女孩从洛杉矶到伯克利旅行，口袋里只有50美元。她正在去上大学的路上，这是她一直努力实现的梦想。她已经支付了第一学期的学费和在合作公寓住一个月的费用。在那之后，她不得不靠自己的生活，因为她的父母无法在经济上帮助她。

【2】从15岁起，她就一直在当住家母亲的帮手，从中午照顾孩子到午夜。尽管她渴望参加课外活动，但她的工作使之不可能。但现在，在伯克利，她希望能获得奖学金。

【3】在她上大学的第一个星期，她找到了一份工作，做服务员、保姆和洗碗来支付房租。到学期结束时，她的平均成绩达到了B，可以申请奖学金。她决心下学期保持这个平均分。

【4】她选择了具有挑战性的课程，相信自己能在学业上出类拔萃。其中一门课是由西尔斯·杰恩教授教授的世界文学概览课。他在大礼堂里用麦克风讲课，学生们用的不是教科书，而是更便宜的平装书。

【5】这个女孩被杰恩教授提出的概念迷住了。她和她那些也在上这门课的合作伙伴组成了一个学习小组，由她来领导这个小组。

【6】当她收到第一次考试成绩时，她震惊地看到77分，一个c +。她确信自己考得很好，尤其是因为她英语很好。令她惊讶的是，她的学习伙伴都得了b，他们感谢她的帮助。

【7】她去找杰恩教授谈谈她的成绩，但他态度坚定。她以前从未质疑过老师的成绩，但她决心要得到她认为自己应得的成绩。

【8】她更加努力地工作，更仔细地阅读平装书，但她的努力又收获了77分。她回到杰恩教授那里，但他不肯改她的成绩。

【9】在期末考试之前，她还有一次机会来证明自己。她从图书馆借了一本艾略特的《荒原》，因为买不起这本书，她用手抄了420页。她学习很努力，但她的努力并没有改变她的成绩。

【10】由于受挫，她跳过了准备期末考试的学习，觉得自己已经很熟悉这些材料了。考试前一晚，她没有学习，而是看了一场电影。

【11】在期末考试中，她玩得很开心，想象所有的作家都在一个岛上，并写下他们之间的辩论。她毫不费力地写作，享受着挑战。

【12】一周后，她发现自己期末考试得了A。她走进杰恩教授的办公室，感到困惑和有点生气。杰恩教授解释说，他想让她努力学习，所以他没有给她应得的a。

【13】杰恩教授送给她一本精装本的《荒原》作为礼物。她无言以对。当她的课程成绩出来时，是a +，这是那年唯一的成绩。

【14】第二年，凭借奖学金，她参与了一部原创音乐喜剧的创作、表演、演唱和舞蹈。她为校报评论戏剧，写过独幕剧，还在戏剧系制作的戏剧中扮演过角色。

【15】她发现了隐藏在工作和责任之下的创作火花。她了解到，她体内有未开发的力量，她必须使用它们，即使她可以不尝试。由于杰恩博士的教导，她制定了自己的卓越标准。

【16】因此，这个女孩从一个勤奋的学生到学者和艺术家的旅程充满了挑战，但也充满了学习和创造的乐趣。她永远不会忘记她所学到的教训和一路上的乐趣。