5.Soldiers Heart(2178)

Passage Five

Louis Simpson (1923- ) was bom in Jamaica, West Indies. The son of a lawyer of Scottish descent and a Russian mother, he emigrated to the United States when he was 17 and went to study at Columbia University. He served in the Second World War on active duty in France, Holland, Belgium and Germany. When the war was over, he returned to Columbia University to finish his studies. After that he became a teacher of that school and later the University of California at Berkeley and the State University of New York at Stony Brook. Louis Simpson has published 17 books of original poetry and is widely acclaimed as a literary critic. The present text is an abridged version from his novel Soldier's Heart.

路易斯·辛普森(1923-)出生于西印度群岛的牙买加。他的父亲是一名苏格兰裔律师，母亲是俄罗斯人。17岁时，他移民到美国，在哥伦比亚大学学习。第二次世界大战期间，他曾在法国、荷兰、比利时和德国服役。战争结束后，他回到哥伦比亚大学完成学业。之后，他成为该校的一名教师，后来又在加州大学伯克利分校和纽约州立大学石溪分校任教。路易斯·辛普森出版了17本原创诗集，是一位广受赞誉的文学评论家。本文是他的小说《士兵的心》的节选版。

Soldiers Heart

Louis Simpson

【1】It begins in France in June of 1944. Men are lying face down on the earth. The air is filled with sounds, shrieks that came out of the sky and terminate with an explosion. This may be a matter of seconds. If the sounds continue, the men will be seen scraping the surface of the earth with shovels and burying themselves in it until, like a species of animal, they vanish from sight.

【2】Or the men are walking up a road in two parallel lines. They are heavily burdened, carrying rifles, machine guns, and mortars. If the shrieking from the sky begins, they will turn quickly out of the road and lie face down. Or they have spread out and are walking in an open field. An embankment runs across it一the railroad. There is a brief purring sound, then a rhythmic drumming. If you should happen to be with these men, it would sound as though the air were being tom. One of them falls. The others run forward and crouch in the shelter of the embankment.

【3】Such is the life or death of an infantry soldier in France in the summer of 1944. These actions will be repeated many times... the scenery will change, from small fields separated by hedgerows to a flat landscape with windmills to a forest covered with snow. The soldiers will pass through villages. Now they are on the banks of a river, and rowing across in rubber boats. Finally they are among mountains.

【4】I was discharged from the US Army in 1945 and went home. I returned to the university. I have a vague recollection of sitting with other students in a room― nly a few around a long table. Some great book was being discussed; it was the course for upper division students known as the Colloquium. I was reading furiously about... everything. When I was not reading I was writing stories, essays, poems...

【5】What followed I do not know. One person had it that I lost my key to the apartment I was sharing, and was found lying unconscious outside the door. A friend would inform me in a letter that I had been wandering in the streets and picked up by the police, and that I resisted violently.

【6】I was in a hospital ward. It wasn't an army hospital, but Kings Park on Long Island. I suppose that was because after the war the veterans' hospitals were too crowded, and the rest had to be put in other places.

【7】What name have they given it now, the illness I had as a result of being shot at and shelled for months on end? I don't suppose many of our soldiers in the Gulf War have suffered from it一they were spared a long engagement. After Vietnam it was called "post-traumatic stress disorder." In World War II it was called “combat fatigue.,, In the Great War (I prefer that name, for the Great War was what people at the time thought it was) it was called “shell shock.,, In the Civil War it was "soldier's heart.,, The name strikes me as the best, for it describes an illness that involved my heart as much as my head. My heart would beat faster, I would tremble and sweat and, on occasion, pass out.

【8】The patients in this hospital saw very little of the doctors. There was one who would come now and then, but I don't recall any conversation with him that lasted more than a minute. There were two women一one was a nurse, the other seemed to have some training in psychology. Their main duty was to see that the patients were quiet or harmlessly busy playing cards or board games or reading a magazine. There were also three guards. Much of the time, especially during the evening and night hours, they ran the ward.

【9】Two of the guards were the kind Chekhov describes in Ward No. 6. One was a skinny man with a dull face. The trigger finger of his right hand was missing. Once he waggled the stump under my face with a sly smile. This, he gave me to understand, was why he had been excused from military service. The other was stocky and muscular, with a bullet head. He was dangerous—he liked to beat up the patients. He informed me that he was the one who had knocked out my front teeth when I was first brought to the ward. He seemed to think it was a joke I would like to share.

【10】I received shock treatments, and later I was assigned to help the doctor, lifting each patient onto the table. I watched as the current passed through and the body convulsed. There has been much controversy over shock treatments—whether or not they did irremediable harm. Speaking only for myself I think they brought me out of the fog in which I had been walking.

【11】One of the symptoms of my illness had been hearing voices. But one day，and this was after I came out of the fog and I was quite calm and rational，looking out of the cage, the barred windows behind which we lived, at grass and trees and clouds, I heard a voice say "Praise God, they resist, they resist!" Who was it who was resisting? Others like myself I suppose. I believe with Shakespeare that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in the philosophy of those who serve the world, and who administer its institutions, and grow rich.

【12】When I was finally discharged from Kings Parks, the more evident symptoms of my illness had disappeared so that I was thought of as a reasonable and level-headed man. But the cure would take time.

【13】For some years I was subject to the sudden onsets I have mentioned: a heart that beat faster, and shaking, and sweating. I would imagine shells falling and hear the sound of guns. I could not stand being confined. And I had the habits that remain with soldiers. One in particular: when I went walking I would keep an eye peeled for an enemy position. If there was an open field I would think, how are we going to get across that?

【14】I imagined lying again on a railroad embankment in Normandy, waiting to be told to go over it in spite of the bullets that were sweeping to and fro directly above me. That day I was sure I would be killed. Or I was in a graveyard in Holland with shells falling and the living getting mixed in with the dead. I was in the Ardennes, standing in a fbx-hole among trees covered with snow and stamping my feet. They were freezing.

【15】The university informed me that before I could return I had to be cleared by their doctor. He picked up a folder and said, "You aren't going to be so taken up with your music, are you?, The question was probably one of their tricks, to test my sanity. He spoke again, saying that I ought to go out in the world and "meet the common man, I was silent. I had seen the common man... his guts spilled in a road, his limbs strewn in a field. The doctor told me that he could not recommend my returning to the college. It was only on the way home that I realized that he had been looking at the wrong folder.

【16】So I looked for work and found it as a copyboy on a newspaper. If I stayed with it, I might someday be a reporter. But this didn't appeal to me. I didn't have the fascination with gossip that a reporter needs to have—whether it is about a quarrel between nations or about a politician and his mistress. Then I worked fbr an import-export firm. But this too did not appeal to me; to succeed in this kind of business you have to think about the money you can make, and I preferred to think about other things.

【17】I went back to the university, but not by the front entrance. I slipped in by a side door, the School of General Studies, which wasn't so particular about whom they let in. I took courses in the evening and I worked at writing, I relived the war almost every night in my dreams. This continued fbr years. After Miriam and I were married, she woke one night to sounds that were coming from different parts of the room: sounds of battle, shelling and gunfire. They were coming from me!

【18】I dreamed of encounters with the Germans that I never had. But I had anticipated such meetings as I walked alone among trees or over fields, carrying a message from G Company to Battalion. Or I dreamed about horrors... the field in Holland I had to walk through night after night. It was strewn with the dead bodies of German infantry and American paratroopers who had shot each other at close range.

【19】I used to think that having such dreams was a thing to be ashamed of. For what had I suffered in comparison with others? When I thought of them, the dead, and those who were in wheel-chairs, or blinded, or insane, had I really known war at all? What have we to complain of who have only known "soldier's heart”？ Nothing, sir, nothing at all.

【20】Why write about such things? Are they not better forgotten? After a war, the millions who have been through it want to forget. It was terrible, and sordid, and boring. Besides, everyone knows the things you do. But time passes and the number of those who remember is suddenly diminished. Who remembers the Great War?

【21】When I was a teacher and the subject of war came up, I would write a name on the blackboard: Somme. Who, I would ask, had heard of it? None of the students would answer. Only one or two knew anything at all about the Great War. I would tell them that The Somme was a battle in that war, a terrible battle in which thousands were killed or wounded一sixty thousand casualties in the British army on the first morning alone. It was hell on earth, but the men who went through it consoled themselves with a thought: Generations will remember what we did here, it will never be forgotten. Yet not one of the young people in front of me had ever heard of it.

【22】I have not forgotten the men I knew in the 101st Airborne Division. The men and women I worked with in universities were pale and unreal in comparison. They were hollow and filled with words.

【23】What was I to think of the new breed of university professors, structuralists, poststructuralists, deconstructionists, who taught that experience had no meaning, that the only reality was language, one word referring to another, one "sign" to another, with no stop in any kind of truth?

【24】It is right to remember such things as I have described一in the first place, because those who have lived and died before us should be remembered, insofar as it is possible. Otherwise our own lives seem worthless. In the second place, war is a permanent human condition, and men and women will have to face it. It may help them to know how people no stronger physically or mentally than they have faced it.

【25】The war and its aftermath changed me. It gave me a respect and affection for the so-called common man that I have never lost. As if any life were common! The men I knew in the 101st, most of them, had no education beyond high school. And they weren't stunning physical specimens either, though they could carry a pack, trench tool, rifle or carbine, machine gun, tripod or ammunition boxes, for miles at a good pace.

【26】So the war gave me poetry. I had a driving need to write... a few lines for a poem, a paragraph of prose... anything! Even at the university there were very few who felt about things as I did. What did that matter? What if the only thing I could do was held in contempt by others, or met with indifference? Most people cared nothing about the kind of writing that mattered to me more than anything else. They were deaf to the music. So what! I was alive and doing what I liked.

第五课

士兵的心

路易斯·辛普森

【1】战争开始于1944年6月的法国。人们脸朝下躺在地上。空气中充满了声音，从天空中传来的尖叫声，以一声爆炸结束。这可能只是几秒钟的事。如果声音继续下去，人们就会看到这些人用铲子刨地，把自己埋在土里，直到他们像动物一样从人们的视线中消失。

【2】或者这些人沿着两条平行线走在路上。他们背负着沉重的负担，携带着步枪、机枪和迫击炮。如果天空开始尖叫，他们会迅速转身离开道路，脸朝下躺下。或是散开，在旷野行走。一条路堤穿过它一铁路。先是一阵短暂的咕噜声，然后是有节奏的鼓声。如果你碰巧和这些人在一起，听起来就像空气在变冷一样。其中一个掉了下来。其他人向前跑，蹲在堤岸的掩体里。

【3】这就是1944年夏天法国一名步兵的生死。这些动作会重复很多次……风景会发生变化，从被树篱隔开的小田野，到有风车的平坦景观，再到白雪覆盖的森林。士兵们将穿过村庄。现在他们在河岸上，划着橡皮艇渡河。最后，他们来到了群山之中。

【4】1945年，我从美国陆军退伍回家了。我回到了大学。我模糊地记得和其他学生坐在一个房间里，只有几个人围着一张长桌。他们正在讨论一本伟大的书;这门课是为高年级学生开设的，被称为“学术讨论会”。我正在疯狂地读，一切。不读书的时候，我就写故事、散文、诗歌……

【5】我不知道接下来发生了什么。有人说我丢了我合租公寓的钥匙，被发现躺在门外不省人事。一个朋友会在信中告诉我，我在街上游荡，被警察抓住了，我进行了激烈的反抗。

【6】我在医院的病房里。那不是军队医院，而是长岛的国王公园。我想这是因为战后退伍军人医院太拥挤了，其余的人不得不被安置在其他地方。

【7】我在连续数月的枪林弹雨中所患的疾病，现在他们给它起了什么名字?我想在海湾战争中我们的许多士兵都没有患过这种病一他们没有长期交战。越战之后，它被称为“创伤后应激障碍”。在第二次世界大战中，它被称为“战斗疲劳”。在第一次世界大战中(我更喜欢这个名字，因为当时的人们就是这么认为的)，它被称为“炮弹休克症”。在南北战争中，它是“士兵的心”。这个名字给我的印象是最好的，因为它描述了一种既累及我的头脑又累及我的心脏的疾病。我的心跳加快，浑身发抖，满头大汗，偶尔还会昏倒。

【8】这家医院的病人很少见到医生。有一个人偶尔会来，但我不记得和他的谈话有超过一分钟的。有两个女人，一个是护士，另一个似乎受过心理学方面的训练。他们的主要职责是确保病人安静，或者忙着打牌、玩棋盘游戏或看杂志。还有三名警卫。大部分时间，特别是在晚上和夜间，他们负责管理病房。

【9】有两个看守是契诃夫在第六病房中描述的那种人。一个是瘦骨嶙峋的男人，面容呆滞。他右手扣动扳机的手指不见了。有一次，他带着狡黠的微笑在我面前摇晃着树桩。他让我明白，这就是他不服兵役的原因。另一个结实结实，肌肉发达，长着一个子弹头。他很危险，他喜欢痛打病人。他告诉我，我第一次被送进病房时，就是他打掉了我的门牙。他似乎认为这是我想要分享的一个笑话。

【10】我接受了休克治疗，后来我被派去帮助医生，把每个病人抬到桌子上。我看着电流流过，身体抽搐起来。关于休克疗法是否会造成不可弥补的伤害，存在很多争议。就我个人而言，我想他们把我从我一直行走的迷雾中带了出来。

【11】我的病症之一是幻听。但有一天，这是在我走出浓雾之后，我相当冷静和理性，望着我们住的笼子、拴着栅栏的窗户，望着草地、树木和云彩，我听到一个声音说:“感谢上帝，它们反抗了，它们反抗了!”是谁在反抗?像我这样的人。我同意莎士比亚的观点，天地间有许多事情是那些为世界服务、管理世界机构并发财致富的人的哲学所无法想象的。

【12】当我最终从国王公园出院时，我的病情的明显症状消失了，因此我被认为是一个理智而冷静的人。但治愈需要时间。

【13】几年来，我经常会突然发作我刚才提到的那种病:心跳加快，浑身发抖，出汗。我想象着炮弹落下，听到枪声。我不能忍受被禁锢。我有军人的习惯。其中一个特别:当我去散步时，我会留意敌人的位置。如果有一片空地，我就会想，我们该怎么过去呢?

【14】我想象着自己又躺在诺曼底的铁路路基上，等待着被命令越过铁道，尽管子弹在我头顶上飞来飞去。那天我确信自己会被杀。或者我在荷兰的一个墓地里，看着炮弹落下，活人和死人混在一起。我是在阿登，站在积雪覆盖的树林里的一个洞穴里，跺着脚。他们冻坏了。

【15】大学通知我，在我返回之前，我必须得到他们医生的许可。他拿起一个文件夹说:“你不会这么沉迷于你的音乐吧?这个问题可能是他们的一个把戏，用来测试我的理智。他又说话了，说我应该到外面的世界去，“见见普通人，”我沉默了。我看到了一个普通人……他的内脏散落在路上，四肢散落在田野里。医生告诉我他不能建议我回学校。直到回家的路上，我才意识到他看错了文件夹。

【16】于是我找了一份工作，在一家报纸上当报童。如果我继续做下去，有一天我可能会成为一名记者。但这对我没有吸引力。我没有一个记者所需要的那种对八卦的迷恋，不管是关于国家之间的争吵，还是关于一个政治家和他的情妇。然后我在一家进出口公司工作。但这也不吸引我;要想在这种生意上取得成功，你必须考虑你能赚多少钱，而我更愿意考虑其他事情。

【17】我回到大学，但不是从正门走。我从一扇侧门溜了进去，那是通识学院，他们对让谁进来并没有特别的要求。我在晚上上课，我在写作，我几乎每天晚上都在梦中重温战争。这种情况持续了15年。我和米里亚姆结婚后，有一天晚上，她被从房间不同角落传来的声音惊醒:战斗声、炮击声和枪声。它们是从我身上发出来的!

【18】我梦见与从未有过的德国人相遇。但是，当我独自走在树林里或田野上，从G连向营传递消息时，我已经预料到了这样的会面。或者梦见恐怖……在荷兰的田野，我不得不一夜又一夜地走过。到处都是德国步兵和美国伞兵的尸体，他们在近距离内互相射击。

【19】我过去认为做这样的梦是一件可耻的事。与别人相比，我受了什么苦呢?当我想到他们，那些死去的人，那些坐在轮椅上的人，那些失明的人，那些精神失常的人，我真的了解战争吗?我们这些只懂得“军人之心”的人，有什么好抱怨的呢?没有，先生，没有。

【20】为什么要写这样的事情?忘记他们不是更好吗?战争结束后，数百万经历过战争的人想要忘记。这是可怕的，肮脏的，无聊的。再说，大家都知道你做的事。但随着时间的流逝，记得这件事的人突然减少了。谁还记得第一次世界大战?

【21】我当老师的时候，一提到战争，我就会在黑板上写一个名字:索姆河。我要问，谁听说过这件事?没有一个学生愿意回答。只有一两个人对第一次世界大战有所了解。我会告诉他们索姆河战役是那场战争中的一场战役，一场死伤数千人的可怕战役一仅第一天早晨英军就伤亡6万人。这是人间地狱，但经历过这一切的人们用一个想法安慰自己:几代人将记住我们在这里所做的一切，它将永远不会被遗忘。然而，坐在我面前的年轻人没有一个听说过它。

【22】我没有忘记101空降师的战友们。相比之下，我在大学里共事的男男女女都显得苍白而不真实。它们是空洞的，充满了文字。

【23】我该如何看待新一代的大学教授、结构主义者、后结构主义者、解构主义者，他们教导说经验没有意义，唯一的现实是语言，一个词指另一个词，一个“符号”指另一个“符号”，任何真理都没有止境?

【24】首先记住我所描述的一这样的事情是正确的，因为那些在我们之前生活和死亡的人应该被记住，在可能的范围内。否则我们的生命就显得毫无价值。其次，战争是人类的一种永久状态，男人和女人都必须面对它。这可能会帮助他们了解那些在身体或精神上都没有他们强大的人是如何面对它的。

【25】战争及其后果改变了我。它让我对所谓的普通人产生了一种尊重和感情，这种尊重和感情我从未失去过。好像有什么生命是普通的!我在101空降师认识的人，大多数都只受过高中教育。他们也不是令人惊叹的身体标本，尽管他们可以带着背包，战壕工具，步枪或卡宾枪，机枪，三脚架或弹药箱，以良好的速度行进数英里。

【26】所以战争给了我诗歌。我有一种写作的冲动。几行诗，一段散文……任何事情!即使在大学里，也很少有人和我有同样的感受。那有什么关系?如果我所能做的唯一一件事被别人蔑视，或遭到冷漠怎么办?大多数人都不关心这种对我来说比什么都重要的写作方式。他们听不见音乐。所以什么!我还活着，做着我喜欢的事。